Most of us have learnt behaviors that we started when we were children.

A very common one is that to feel or show my emotions its unsafe, or not allowed. I grew up with I am not allowed to show anger.

A lot of us  have this one to some degree, the degree depends on your family culture and the environment you had as child.

There is no right or wrong scale of how much emotion is ok, rather once you start taking a close look at your personal ecosystem you have a have a choice on how you want to be. 

Its your personal decision to engage in them or not. My belief is that  emotions  themselves are ok, its how you use your tools that count , which means what you do when you are emotional is what counts not that you are emotional.

Do you lash out verbally, do you cry, do you self isolate, so you make lists .. we all do many compulsive behaviors. We can be conscious when we are emotional, but its its always helpful if you have a safe processing pattern.

When you see or look at your unconscious patterns and behaviors,  you start to see repeating patterns and behaviors  most of them you probably decided upon as a child.

If you aren’t seeing them, then you can ask to – the big emotional ask . Everyone has patterns and when we understand how we operate we have the option to choose or change those patterns.

Every single thing we do is made up of thousands of small or large rules. Each one was decided at some point by some part of your system.

When we start to see our patterns we then can learn how to transform them or choose them with love.

These days I still often dont “show”my anger however I have worked on voicing when I need to. I did a lot of work to say emotions are welcome in my life and they important. 

I learnt a few modalities that helped me to come into relationship with my emotions.